Dave, Esch & I Europe 4: Kitzbühel and Salzburg (Austria), Den Haag (Netherlands), and final thoughts.

Well, I put 70p in the drier and it didn't quite dry my clothes. But I only had a pound left, so I put a pound in to polish it off. Now the drier is spinning for even longer than the first round, locked, so I am rather nervously awaiting the outcome. I hope for piping hot underpants but suspect Ken doll underpants. To distract myself, I shall write this final entry on the awesome March Europe trip.

If you cast your mind back to when we last left our brave adventurers, we were just leaving Venice. (22nd March 2014). It was this point that I had a - OH GOD MY LAUNDRY.

I had a mini-explosion over our payment scheme. We didn't really have one on the trip you see - we'd all paid for most of our accommodation beforehand, but we hadn't really organised a payment scheme for the ongoing trip expenses. This led to a couple of moments on the trip which was rather needless on hindsight - but the team took my little explosion with good will and much better conflict resolution skills than I have - no problem.

We were headed to Kitzbühel Austria - ski capital of the world! And also where Esch spent many of her formative teenage years, doing what teenagers do. (Giggedy).

It was to be a rather long drive, so it was unfortunate that we didn't check ahead, and took a random mountain pass, the name of which is lost to me. The road thinned with the traffic. Through light industrial areas, we eventually passed a crumbled and decaying Mental Asylum. On we drove, and onto the pass. And this is what we saw:

I'm not sure if you can see that, but that's the end of the line. We came toe-to-toe with a huge plough doing it's thing on the one lane pass. A plough who wouldn't get out of the way. Eventually they managed to get alongside to tell us the pass was closed - which became rather obvious as we tried to find somewhere to turn around! Such are the occasions where you don't Lesen Sie Deutsch. But hey, fun story now! Just a bit shit behind the wheel for Dave.

When we finally arrived in Kitz and circuitously found our accommodations, we discovered our hosts to be an odd bunch. Tight pricks wouldn't let us use the washing machine. (I'm all about washing today). I did however get an excuse to use my one non-WW2 related German word I know due to the view!

"Wunderbar!"

In the morning we wandered the town as Esch regaled us with tales from her early teens. Recollections as sordid as these are not fit for the internet.

Up the main street

The church

The HITLER HOTEL. Hitler used to hang here with Stalin n that when they were buds. 

We discovered the knock off Amaretto in Kitz - €4 for a litre. Dave and I put three bottles away in Kitz.

On the 24th we went up the Horn Bahn, a gondola up the hills into one of the ski areas. There we had some classic Austrian tukka - I had a curried bratwurst and chips, Dave a schnitzel, and Esch - well Esch had two Austrian desserts, a tophenstrudel and something else. They have such cute names, I shall call the other one a snugglepuffstrudel.

The view

Another view

Esch loving her strudels.

We decided, with such a nice day, we'd walk down from halfway (the gondola goes through a mid-point slow bit). This proved to be a bit foolhardy, as the track was relentlessly downhill and a mix of ice, slush or mud. Then it turned into a logging road. But nevermind!

Just walking the dogs.

Wizardry.

Pretty. Pretty shit photography.

We hadn't had enough walking when we got home, so we jumped in the car and headed to the other side of the valley - to 'Bibi's. Now, if you have money, Bibi's is the place to be. The path up to Bibi's is via a ruinous single lane road carved into a steep hillside, but that didn't deter Bentleys and Porches from honking up there. One can see why, as we walked up a neighbouring hill we were rewarded by views even nicer than those from the Horn.

Dave said I could never use this photo after I ruined it. WELL I'M USING IT!

We were a bit tired in the evening - evidenced by Esch trying to light a fake candle. Lulz.

The month had taken it out of us, in Kitz we were pretty comfortable to just sit around and relax. We caught some sunshine and I read a romance novel. It was absolutely terrible and I have no idea why it was on my Kindle. Emotionally damaged sheikh with honourable responsibilities falls for strong-willed American pilot. Never again. Later we walked around Southsee Lake - still frozen, mostly!

Foolhardy!

A melted bit

We dissolved the group on the 26th - Dave went snowboarding, I went for a walk up the valley and Esch went shopping.

We went on a day trip to Salzburg, an hour from Kitzbühel. The old town is a beautiful place with amazing churches, palaces and a castle commanding over all.

Snooty in a palace. 

The only thing wrong with Salzburg was the footy fans. A game was on, and the streets, rather than being filled with Mozart's symphonies, were filled with the European equivalent of OZ OZ OZ! Hats off to Austria allowing public drinking in these beautiful places, that's lovely of them. What wasn't so lovely was the disrespect shown by the football hooligans - I didn't mind their loudness, their crassness - what pissed me off was their not cleaning up their beer cans once the game kicked off. Douchebags leaving three dozen Heinies outside these historic buildings.

Cops out in force (vans on right). Ready for a laugh riot?

Dave got a taste for salt sticks, like a horse. He ate four of them in Salzburg.

Mozarts balls. They love 'em.

A gothic church - interesting to compare, Baroque and Gothic right next to one another

Egg painting. Holy hell, there were about 70 million hand-painted blown eggs in this store. Adorably barking.

We were a bit sour on our hosts for not letting us use the washing machine, so it was rather odd when they saw us off, all friendly like. Anyway, we packed it in and headed for the Hague for a few days before we were to head back to our respective homes.

In Europe, as in the UK, most of the week stays do a 'saturday to saturday' kind of booking arrangement. What this means is that the roads on Saturday, in all these improbable places, are absolutely tail to tail gridlocked with holidaymakers moving to and fro. The autobahn was moving at 20 kph. This puts a lot of strain on the services - the toilet lines go out the door, it's music festival-esque with guys pissing on anything anywhere.

We really needed to go, but we were not going to get that feral. So we took the first turn off we possibly could and found ourselves in a random town, next to a wee diner. We had a lovely lunch in an authentic German cafe away from the hustle - definitely a travel tip I shall try and remember for the future! Much better than a services stop.

Enroute we stopped in Bayreuth. The plan was to see the theatre there, however in the morning we found it was closed! ANNOYING. So we continued to the Hague to be reunited with Anneke and Helmut - and it was with some relief we were to take a few days off. We did however enjoy some prowling of Holland (though not as much as I need to do in future I admit!) Dave and I walked the beach and dunes, and we all went to town one day and visited parliament and that.

What an old salt.

Unfortunately and all too soon, with tearful goodbyes from all parties, it was time to go back to our real lives. My real life right now is a non-stop holiday so that was something of a consolation, but to say goodbye to Dave and Esch - that sucked balls. But if you're going to experience the joy of an arrival, the price is the sorrow in the departure. It was a small price for such a wonderful and amazing trip, one I shall cherish for the rest of my life.

In summary
This trip was wonderful, and couldn't have come at a better time. I was having a pretty crap time in the UK up until this point, and hanging out with my big brother really re-energised me for round two of trying to make a go of the UK. (And the UK is much more me outside of the big city I have discovered!)

I found Switzerland to be just the most beautiful country, and with the changing seasons, a real place of adventure all year round. Lucky Swiss, and they have the rest of Europe at their doorstep should they ever feel the urge to leave - though one would wonder why!

I was on the receiving end of a lot of kindness from folks I don't know well, or at all, on this trip. It made all the difference in the world for us and is something I wish to pay forward. I'm talking that dude in Burgamo leading us to our hotel, Ennike and her family's warm and generous hospitality (she'd never even met me!), and the continued support from Esch's folks - it just made the trip what it was. Wonderful people making the world a better place, small gesture by small gesture.

I was also humbled by my weakness in language. I mentioned this earlier, but being 'the foreigner/s' was a really rewarding experience for me - I hope to ease the discomfort for non-english speakers in future when I have the chance, now I know how it feels.

I'm a bit bummed to fire this blog off to be honest, as it really polishes off the trip. But hey, what a moment in time! What an adventure! I am a lucky chap and I can't thank Dave and Esch enough for all the planning, organising, driving and company that went in before during and after this trip.

And my undies came out normal sized, by the way. It's a great day to be me.

Dave, Esch & I Europe 3: Venice (Italy)

Driving from Bergamo to Venice was, again, a matter of taking our lives in our hands on the Italian motorways. Folks covering both lanes, no signalling, speeding, hard breaking, last minute swerves. But, as chaotic as the roading system may seem, it all seems to just work. And no-one seems to get all road-ragey about it, everyone's got a bit of slack. I really warmed to the Italian method - though was quite glad Dave was driving!

We entered Venice by car, which seemed a bit odd. But even the view from the top of the carpark was something to behold - Venice is one of a kind!

So first thing we did was pootle down to get a water taxi the three stops to our apartment. €50 the dude said - get out of here! Straight to the bus. The public transport system is quite funny, considering it's a bit of a tourist mecca - there are ticket scanning machines at the bus platforms, but no way to buy tickets. We were still trying to figure it out when our bus came, we just got on and then found no way to buy tickets there either - criminals.

On the bus. That red building with the green shutters is us!

That's our apartment there - right on the Grand Canal at a major junction. It meant we had a lot of fun boating to look at, but they would've been sleepless nights without earplugs! The boats would gun it to turn harder, and larger boats would blow their horn before doing so.

An example of how crazy the Grand Canal gets at times

The view from our apartment was great, as above! We loved it, sitting in the windows at all times of day. In the morning, watching the tradespeople's boats, the couriers, the deliveries. Later, the tourist gondolas, a hearse, a swish taxi with a bride in the back. Everything you'd see on the road, Venice has a boat version of it. I'm surprised Pixar haven't done a 'boats' movie. A lot of the tradies also had wee dogs on their boats. They were great to watch, often standing proud on the bow.

Shortly after we arrived, the lovely Anneke joined us for our Venice leg.

The dudes having a feed!

Poser.

When in Venice, do as the Venetians do.

Found out my camera does OK night shots too with its 8 second shutter time. 8 months in and this Lumix keeps delivering!

Excited by the city, Anneke Dave and I ventured out after dinner to Piazza San Marco, passing the Rialto bridge and generally just pottering about. Outside our apartment was a wee vege market and a pretty serious pedestrian mall (the result of a filled in canal in the past). Pretty much every street is an alleyway, it's a real rabbit warren! But so full of history and character. I loved just walking the streets, enjoying the different colours of the buildings, their various states of decay, their interaction with the canals - it's just an interesting place to be really.

Rialto bridge at night

On the way back to the apartment this night, we wanted to take a different route back. So we headed off the beaten track a bit and promptly, and predictably, got completely lost. But we were not alone - all over the place were people in ones and twos, studying maps. I pity the locals - eventually Anneke asked a guy how to get back, and his response was one of practice - 'head that way to the square, then ask someone again' - no point giving us the full route, we'd just get lost again. We did break up the journey with an ice cream, such was the weather!

The next day we jumped on the bus and headed to Piazza San Marco again - destination, the Doge Palace. The palace was the house of government for Venice over its many years, the forerunner of modern democracy. From the outside, for all its scale, it's a bit dull really - nice geometry but just a wall! Inside though, the grandeur is extreme. The Grandeur!

Piazza San Marco with the St. Marc's Basilica. Under water, so there are platforms for folks to walk over.

Piazza San Marco before carnival.

Courtyard within the Doge Palace

Not even one of the particularly ornate or large rooms

As we toured through grand room after grand room, I went beyond 'wow' and moved in to being annoyed about the inequality aspect. The amount of money and work that went into these façades, oh the things they could've done for the people instead! But no, it was a big swinging dick contest to wow traders and things. Nothing new really (infact it dates 1340), and hey it's amazing heritage and just magic to visit. Guess I was feeling particularly lefty that day!

From a wee side-door in the massive central council hall (like the above but the size of a football field) you can cross the bridge of sighs and enter the prison. A starker contrast to the palace couldn't be made!

Prison courtyard. Actually not that bad I guess, but inside was horrid.

The big church in the square is St Mark's Basilica. She's an old bird, 828. The entrance was flooded, but inside it's quite a unique church. Everything has gold plate. Medieval.

The next day we boarded one of the various buses cruising by our apartment and headed to Murano, an island off Venice. The bus took us all around Venice and it was quite the free tour - though a bit diesel stinky around the back!

The island of Murano is to Venice what Lower Hutt is to Wellington. That's a wholely unfair comparison to Murano but in Venice everything is wonderful! We walked around a bit, had a nice cheap italian feed at a wee cafe, then headed back.

My selfie skills failed me here.

So in this restaurant here, they brought the milk for the coffee in this little jug. As Anneke was pouring herself some milk, I noticed the jug said 'HAG' on it, which totally amused Dave and I. HAG is a brand of coffee over there, but hey. We taught Anneke a new English word!

Murano. It's the same, but kinda soul less in comparison.

On our journey over there we had our tickets checked - so it was just as well we figured out how to buy some!

Back in Venice, we chilled out for a bit - Dave and I watched a lot of Family Guy (gotta love Netflix). Later in the evening we wanted to see La Fenice, the main Venice opera house - but upon arrival we were shepherded back out as a show was to begin within the hour. Naff! But still, good that these things are in proper use, not just tourist traps.

Could there be a more Venice photo?

In the theatre. Being disrespectful since we didn't get what we wanted.

In the evening, Dave and Esch cranked out what we'd come to Venice for - their Carnival duds. Donned in their sweet outfits, we ventured into the night.

The dogs on the Rialto bridge

Dave being spooky

Esch being spooky

 It was quite an experience following these two about - the tourists love it! We would pass groups of people and they'd turn around and follow, take some photos. They'd stop them for photos and that. Was pretty crazy.

That evening was nothing compared to the next day, when Esch donned her robe and wizard hat and ventured into Piazza San Marco. She likened it to entering the arena in Gladiator - all heads turned. The photographers flocked like pigeons to a crumb of bread. Esch was like crack to them, they just had to have more, MORE! And Dave, like a dealer, kept leading Esch to better and better photographic locations.

Esch is in the middle of this circle

Some clowns. There were a few others about.

These poor girls were driven from their sitting spot by the photographer horde.

I found the photographers quite horrid - like buzzards or parasites, felt like they were attacking little Esch. This one dude kept getting in all the shots, his camera like 4 inches from Esch's eyes - trying to get that 'eye behind the mask' shot - oh it was bothering me something chronic. If I ever have a good camera I'll never use the bloody thing if that's what it takes to get a good shot.

After night fell we returned home. The next day saw Anneke leave for Holland, and us getting back in the world of cars - next stop: Austria.

I loved our trip to Venice - it's a magical place. You could sit just watching the boats for days. And every alley, every square, is just flooded with history. Bit of a pain in the ass not having cars but that's the charm of it. It's a little world in itself, so foreign but familiar, not too different from hundreds of years ago. Much love.

A random canal since I realise I didn't actually put any in this entry

Last one - Dave and I. We wandered around a lot in the mornings!