The April tour started with me back in Bromley for
bureaucratic reasons, to pick up my brand spanking new UK drivers licence and
reclaim my passport. My haggard dead eyes of 2014 now stare back at me from a UK licence – a visage I happily tucked into the back of the wallet.
I caught up with friends and made the most of Bromley’s handy stores, loading up with
heaps of van essentials. Key items being brush and shovel, LED torches, plastic
containers, a collapsible water jug and some basic tools.
I also made progress on another aspect of this prolonged van
tour I have been working on – travel companions.
I am of two minds about travelling solo. Initially I was
scared to travel alone, but as I go the fear is diminishing and I am finding it
rather convenient. In fact I worry it will become too convenient over time and
I risk becoming an intolerant irritable dickhead around other people. Certainly
company on and off would be quite enjoyable, especially for events and social
tourism, so I put an ad out there on gumtree and saw who bit.
One biter was a lovely Taiwanese girl with a real spring in
her step (literally springing around). I caught up with her in London just to
say hi and scope each other out really – she may join me on and off, we shall
see. A few other folks were interested, but they came off quite creepy and I
was just, naw. Only one creepy weirdo per van trip buddy.
Also in London I tried my first city-based freedom camping.
It wasn’t great, a big camber on the bus-route road, but a few drinks ensures
one sleeps through anything. In towns I pull the curtains as soon as I park up
for privacy and security. I’ve also been hanging a sheet from the top bed down
behind the driving seats which blocks the living area of the van from view but
keeps the cab area visible. This stops people seeing me in the van – no one
will be able to tell whether it’s a vehicle occupied for the evening, or just
another parked car. Of course the lights are a dead giveaway no matter how well
the curtains are pulled, but that’s cool. You can watch TV in the dark.
It’s a bit claustrophobic and unpleasant to shoebox yourself
like that. It also makes me feel like a filthy cheap-ass hippy, so it’s more of
a last resort, but it’s good to be able to do in a pinch.
But enough of that shit! On with the tour!
On the fourth I was at a cross roads – do I go south back to
Sussex and do the paragliding course, or do I head north-west to Somerset and
do a little touring with my friends Terri and Bryce? Deciding on the touring, I
broke down my shoebox walls and hit the road to Burnham-on-sea, just below
Bristol. I was so damn tired I just got to a camp ground and slept.
I visited the Brean peninsula. This is a natural rocky
outcrop with an 1870’s fort at the end built to defend the Bristol channel from
the French, which was further developed for WW2. I found the powder magazine
and the land-moat between the fort and the rest of the peninsula quite
interesting – features not really prominent in WW2+ era defences.
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| Observation Post |
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| Close your mouth you weirdo. |
Cheddar
A short drive took me to the Cheddar Gorge. The gorge is
full of caves, one of which is where they discovered ‘Cheddar man’, one of the
oldest human skeletons. The gorge itself is also impressive, and the area was touted
as a ‘must visit’ kind of thing, so off I went. I think it was a bit overpriced
– the cave had a great audio guide, but many of the stalactites had been
snapped off by dickheads over the years. A shame! I did enjoy hearing about the
Victorian tourism – they used to play music hitting the stalactites – how
uncool!
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| Cheddar gorge from the bus. |
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| A pretty well-informed and well-delivered audio guide had me enthralled |
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| Calcite stairs |
In your ticket you get an ‘open top bus tour’ – pretty
uninspired I must say. The tour guide was just mile-a-minute blaring away as
the bus drove up the gorge, turned and returned. What was amusing to me was the
Cox Cave, which had been ‘tacked up’. Initially the tack was in the form of
spectral lighting and opera, which was interesting. But then it really kicked
off with this ‘fantasy grotto’. You enter the cave and there’s a disembodied
elf head talking to you, sending you off on this epic quest. So you wander down
the way and there’s some terrifying reaper dudes hanging in a darkened cave,
heaps of wacky shit, culminating in a camp dragon. Very Tolkien.
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| Hats off, these guys were terrifying. The flash ruins it obviously. |
It was just so tacky and sickening really, the cheap
commercialism to make a ‘fantasy venue’ of these caves which took god knows how
many thousands of years to form. I wasn’t angry, just disappointed. Commercialism at its most base. The final
have was the ‘Jacobs ladder’ to walk around the gorge. Turns out the walk
around the gorge was open and free anyway (National Trust), it was just these
stupid steps that were privately owned.
Walking around the top of the gorge was gorgeous as
predicted. I did buy some legit, cave matured cheddar cheese though, and it was
pretty yum – so not all a loss!
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| Cheddar with its reservoir behind me there down the gorge |
The next day I met up with Terri and Bryce by the Cheddar
reservoir. They were doing a short UK leg before hitting Europe for 6 months in
their van. Upon a recommendation from Bryce’s friend, we headed to Wilkins Farm
for some Somerset famous Wilkins Farmhouse Cider. What an experience!
We drove along crazy narrow lanes (I’m getting used to it)
and arrived at a working farm. At the back of a barn with apple pressing
equipment seemingly from the turn of the century a couple of local blokes were
sitting about quietly drinking away. ‘You want dry, sweet or medium?’ We tried
a medium. The bloke grabbed some flagons and poured half from a huge wooden
cask complete with wooden tap, labelled ‘dry’, and the same from one labelled
‘sweet’. That’s medium.
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| Cider time at the farm |
We enquired whether we’d be OK to stay the evening in the
car park, and no worries there. Lovely folks! So we had a few ciders then
headed back to the vans for dinner. My van this evening was on a huge slant,
maybe 10 degrees. That doesn’t sound too bad, but that’s cup sliding territory!
Fortunately we bought 5 litres of cider for £9 which helped us relax. We were
woken by the loud mooing of cows five metres away in the morning.
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| There's the slant. |
Glastonbury
In the morning we bought some more cider and hit the road to
Glastonbury. So now I can forever say, ‘I’ve
been to Glastonbury’ and everyone’ll think I’m just so cool. Until I reveal
it was just the town.
Glastonbury town was rather lovely – chokka block full of
hippies. We walked up to the Glastonbury Tor, the tower above the town. Amazing
views all around.
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| Glastonbury Tor |
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| Glastonbury township |
Minehead and Dunster
We journeyed west to Minehead. Bryce had identified some
neat places to park for the night just within the Exmoor national park, so we
headed up narrow lanes to get there. I have come to fear the ‘Not suitable for
HGVs’ road sign. But I had to follow Bryce and Terri, so off we went – if I had
had to reverse on that lane at any point we’d still be there. We got to one
part where the road passed between two old buildings, and I had a few inches
either side maybe? I was having heart palpitations. But it was all worth it
once we got to the top of the rise, and were shown this view:
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| Top that hey! Minehead down below us on the right. |
In the evening Terri made us an amazing Thai Green Curry. I
ate so well with these guys, they awoke my lost love of cooking and made me
realise you can cook anything with a couple of hobs.
In the morning Terri and Bryce had to go get a warrant for
Frank the Tank, so I shot out to take a look at Dunster. The medieval town has
a lot of charm. I like seeing how a medieval town has come to integrate with
modern life – eg. One section of the town lanes is controlled by lights as it’s
too narrow for passing vehicles.
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| The Yarn Market in Dunster village |
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| Dunster Castle above Dunster township, from the woods across the valley. |
While I waited for the castle to open I wanted to visit this
tower on a neighbouring hillside. I got to talking with a lovely older lady
with her dogs about how to get there. She was just chuffed to live in such a
beautiful spot, and I was quite in agreement with her – lucky people in these
towns!
I returned to Dunster Castle and prowled the grounds.
Beautiful gardens. No wonder it was used for R&R for American GIs during
WW2 – a real ray of sunshine!
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| The Love Bridge, or bridge of Love? In the castle grounds. |
Dunster Castle was founded around 1066 to reward a Norman,
and has been added to over the years. Very interested and enthusiastic
volunteers around the castle, and a bloke was out the front with medieval games
(and bowls). I just love that shit. So cute. I would have smashed a game of bowls
but I had managed to score a place on a basement tour at the castle.
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| A lounge in the castle |
The basement housed the kitchens, and there was all the
classic stuff – the wall of differently toned bells, etc. It was interesting to
hear how the little worker bees got their work done, and got together *wink*. Pretty
average life though! The old Victorian kitchen was fascinating too – two great
boilers there solely to produce steam for cooking. The steam could then be
channelled about the kitchen to keep the massive hot plate hot and keep warming
closets warm and all sorts of shit. Ingenious steam-punk kind of stuff. National
Trust eh, top stuff – I think it’s fantastic that the heritage is recognised,
made accessible, and has such buy in from local folks – love it.
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| The Victorian kitchen. Didn't really capture any of the neat bits! |
In the afternoon we ventured in to the Dunster Estate and
walked up to Bat’s Castle (?) – an old roman fort. On our return trip we
visited the tallest tree in England – which is only about 60 metres, pretty
uninspiring. I’m not sure why they had graphics comparing it with the massive
sequoias of the US – just made it look even more meh!
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| One of those. |
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| Further up the road in Minehead |
On the 10th we carried on east toward Lynton and
Lynmouth. Enroute we stopped for a wee hill top walk, which took us on a
circular route above were Laura Doone
was based. I know nothing about whatever that is so it was wasted on me.
The walk went through recently burnt off gorse scrub, so the only grass was short and near the track. As we walked along, Bryce jumped. We’d startled an Adder and it had jumped onto the track just behind us! Scared the shit out of Terri, was pretty neat to see an Adder though! Hopefully that’s the only one I’ll be seeing.
The walk went through recently burnt off gorse scrub, so the only grass was short and near the track. As we walked along, Bryce jumped. We’d startled an Adder and it had jumped onto the track just behind us! Scared the shit out of Terri, was pretty neat to see an Adder though! Hopefully that’s the only one I’ll be seeing.
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| Bryce got a picture of the Adder. You'll have to settle with this from me. |
In Lynmouth we took the wee water powered rail, an 1888
jobbie to connect Lynton (above) with Lynmouth (below). It was pretty neat, and
cute wee towns.
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| The wee marina in Lynmouth. |
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| The wee water/gravity powered railway |
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| Lynton Town Hall |
Eventually I found a replacement fuse in the Europe bulb kit and managed to replace the fuse, no harm done – good lesson! At least it’s all isolated from the van, so I could still drive – and with gas I still had my hobs, heater and fridge if I wanted them – not really the end of the world.
In the morning I replaced my blown front headlight with the
spare there too, and have since picked up more spare fuses, another headlight
and a replacement laptop charger which I will be keeping an eagle eye on.
On the 11th Terri and Bryce were to head all the
way to Cornwall, to Lands end – somewhere I couldn’t keep up with as I had a
beer festival back in Yeovil I wanted to go to. So as a farewell we went
together to have a cream tea in Hartland.
Hartland
We went in to a little tea room off the back of a church and
the cute little old ladies were slightly shocked by our desire for this sweet
treat at 10am. So out of order was our order that one of the ladies had to go
home to get the sweet scones! But man were those jam and clotted cream scones
amazingly delicious.
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| Cream tea! |
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| Hartland Point |
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| Church just inland of Hartland Point |
I then drove through Dulverton, a lovely little picturesque
town, then headed to Dunkery Hill in Exmoor. Parking near Dunkery Beacon, I
walked up to see 360 degree views, with not another soul around. It was lovely!
I got emotional. I’m just so overcome with this country, it’s so beautiful,
everything’s here and I’ve done NOTHING. I went back up for sunset, but arrived
too early and got cold waiting. So when a couple came up, I felt like a third
wheel listening to their stupid flirting bastard conversation and went back to
the van.
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| Dunkery beacon. No photos did any justice, I took some videos though. |
The next day saw me arrive in Yeovil for the Yeovil beer
festival. After driving around the college a bit trying to find a good spot to
park, I ended up just doing the curtain thing on a residential street like I
mentioned earlier.
The beers around Somerset were just amazing, and I am
ashamed to say I enjoyed more than I should have. Way more than I should have.
After the festival wrapped up, I returned to my van and ended up having a
couple of drinks with the folks across the road. I have no idea how that came
to pass, there's a good four hours that're just gone, pretty bloody stupid! I think I will avoid anything like
that in future, you stupid, stupid man. For shame.
So in the morning I was feeling pretty seedy, but I managed
to stomach some soup and then hit the road for Crossways, outside Dorchester,
near the start of the Jurassic coast in Devon. Just having a couple of nights
in a caravan park to relax and recuperate. Been quite a month so far, I
can’t wait to see what the rest of April holds. Still loving it!
Read on for some more van based experiences from early
April! Be warned, the next paragraph involves poo.
I did my first poo in the van. Just to see what would happen.
Turns out, nothing spectacular happens. The toilet keeps smelling like chemicals.
The only change is that when you empty the toilet cassette it looks more like
you’re tipping chocolate milk. Curdled chocolate milk. The blue chemicals break
everything down into liquid so it’s a piece of cake to tip it all out,
fill 2 litres of water and some fresh chemicals and be ready to rock again.
Admit that you were interested, and delighted by my food-based
descriptors.
Tire pressures! I was going with 33 PSI, just like in the
Sentra back home. But that is not right, for a fully laden van you’re supposed
to put in 50-55 PSI! So I did that, eyes squinting in a pathetic attempt to
shield them in the event of a tire explosion. But no problem, I’m all 50-55’d
up, and all I got was lighter steering and hopefully better fuel economy.
Personal appearances. I’ve been doing a bit of an experiment
over the last few weeks, wearing my casual shirts all the time instead of my
hoody and gauging people’s attitude toward me. The verdict: I have been treated
much better by people when wearing the shirts. Travelling around, it is all
about first impressions. You’re already rocking up in an old van – people see
the van and they’re thinking, ‘another
tree-hugger cheap-ass douchebag asshole’. Boy do their jaws drop when a guy
wearing a SHIRT gets out from behind the wheel!
But seriously though, I have been being treated much better
in the shirts, so that’s something to keep in mind. You want to be thought of
favourably by everybody, but you can’t wow everybody with a conversation – your
appearance has to do the talking for you. So I think maintaining a high
grooming standard is an important part of doing this tour successfully. And
gosh – don’t you just feel good when you’re looking good too.
I've lost the T off the front of the van at some point while I was with Bryce and Terri - weak!
So that’s that. Still loving this adventure, but I am aware of a growing nag inside me for a less transient lifestyle. But one can tolerate quite a lot when one knows it isn't forever and this really is the greatest way to see this wonderful country - I'm still being blown away on a daily basis. And hey, if I do run out of puff, I can always keep the van until the next adventure!
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| One more of me and the big fella. |
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